mrvelocipede: (Default)
[personal profile] mrvelocipede
Amusements of early December:
  1. Print quick-and-simple card.
  2. Hey, these don't look too bad!
  3. Melt down & freak out because of huge unresolved guilt about printing press, printing in general, and art in all its horribleness.
  4. Several days go by.
  5. Recover sufficiently to make list and start writing cards.
  6. Suddenly realize that if you send mail out into the world, EVERYONE IS GOING TO HATE YOU because
    (a) People will be reminded that you otherwise never send them anything, you unfriendly creep.
    (b) Anyone who has sent you something (to which you have not replied adequately) is going to resent you for being such a lazy ungrateful jerk.
    (c) Anyone who hasn't sent you anything is going to resent you for making them feel guilty about never having sent you anything, you smug organized card-sending bastard.
    (d) God, these quick-and-simple cards are really stupid-looking, anyway.

  7. Fuck.
  9. Small bonfire; burn embarrassing unwanted cards & envelopes; contemplate immolating self as well but decide you'd probably need a larger fire.
  10. Resolve to print more cards next year, so as to allow for adequate immolation fuel.
Happy Holidays, everyone!

Date: 2010-12-13 10:50 pm (UTC)
chronographia: Jenna touching deadly shaving foam coming through a crack in the spaceship (shaving foam of DEATH)
From: [personal profile] chronographia
The cure for this is to look at corporate holiday cards and the vile holiday tchotchkes in a mall of some kind, and you will come to an understanding that ANYTHING IS BETTER.

Also, all three subpoints of No. 6 work both ways. And so I feel no guilt if [They] can't get their act together to send me correspondence or anything to tell me what's up with their life. [They] bloody well know where I am, and if they don't, [They] can bloody well google me. And if [They] feel like a jerk for getting unsolicited mail that isn't a bill, [They] should tell me not to send them unsolicited mail.

(It may be a harsh and cruel way to conduct interpersonal relations but I view it more as a Darwinian weeding-out process.)


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